Dreamer: Kate Wagner

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Age: 25

Lives In: Des Moines, IA

Current Job: Chief Chaos Coordinator at Dwolla.

I apologize for the cheesy nature of my responses.But this shit is real.

Ultimate Dream:

Honestly, my dreams and goals in life change everyday. Some days I want to be an author of a million best-selling books, some days I want to be a creative director at J.Crew, some days I want to start my own company, some days I just want to be a Wakonda mom. However, while most of my dreams change daily, there are some dreams that never change. I know that no matter what, I want to write. I want to be a mom. I want to continue to be happily married to my husband, Eric. And most of all, I want to do what I love. As cliche as it is, I have realized that my ultimate dream is to be able to do what I love, whatever that may be, and be successful at it.

What are you doing to attain your dream?:
Most of the time I think the only thing I need to do to attain my dreams is to be myself and have the guts to ask for what I really want (not just what someone is offering me). It took me a long time to learn that being myself was better than being a 2nd rate version of someone else. It turns out Oprah was right all along. The greatest gift I ever gave myself was starting my personal blog, Men Don’t Get Cold, because it taught me that people will always relate and respond when I am being honest about myself. When I started the blog, I thought no one would read it, so I wrote what I really wanted to say without thinking about how people would respond do it.

And then a lot of people started reading my blog. And then a lot of people started liking it! And people that didn’t really like me started liking me because they were seeing who I was for the first time. I remember thinking, “You hated me in college, and all I had to do was BE MYSELF for people to LIKE ME?!!” What a crock of shit.

I’m embarrassed to say this, but every time I start getting self conscious and worried about how people will respond to me, I think of a quote by John Mayer. He said, “You cannot create and also consider the reaction.” John Mayer is super weird now, but I love that quote.

What do you think you need to attain your dreams?:

Crap, I already answered that question above, but here are some other things I have learned about attaining my dreams:

1) Dream BIG. I know that might seem cheesy, but it’s true. Everyone has dreams, but not everyone dreams beyond what they think they can really achieve. Instead of dreaming of just writing a book someday, I dream about writing several best-selling books, going on a world book tour, being able to buy the entire J.Crew store for my public appearances, having one of my books turned into a TV show, etc.

2) Don’t ask for other people’s opinions of your work and dreams, especially in the beginning. Unless you completely trust someone, they will never fully understand your dreams so they won’t be able to fully support your dreams either. If you have a really good dream, no one else should be able to understand it except for you in the beginning. For example, I recently wrote a blog about my miscarriage and everyone told me not to before I did it. They all had opinions about what I should or shouldn’t say, how people would react, and how it was a terrible idea to tell people I had a miscarriage. But I shouldn’t have asked other people before I wrote it because I knew it was the right thing for me to do. And I was right. The blog post about my miscarriage was my most popular blog post, and I had tons of people supporting me and telling me about their miscarriages after I wrote it. Some people in my life just couldn’t understand what I was trying to do before I actually did it.
So don’t ask for other people’s opinions on your dreams. Just do it, and they will understand it later.

Have you attained any dreams? If so, what’d you do to attain them?

The only dream I have fully attained so far is that I married a man that I am madly in love with. I attained him by going on eHarmony, asking for the perfect man, and posting a skinny picture of myself on my profile. Every other dream, like doing what I love (and getting paid for it), writing a book, becoming a mom, is all still in the works. But I have no doubt that I’ll get exactly where I want to be.

Kate is an amazing lady who I didn’t really get to know until I moved back to Des Moines last winter. I think she’s a great talent and someone honest you can connect with. Please show her support by checking out her websites www.reviewmekate.com and www.mendontgetcold.com. Tell us what you think!

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